It’s true!

Despite our financial situation while I was unemployed, we didn’t lose as much ground as I had first expected. Thoughts flew around my head about what I could do to prevent us from losing the house and car and ending up homeless, but in the end the unemployment checks were enough to keep us afloat. I wasn’t getting anywhere near what I was when I was working, but it really was fine. We paid all our bills on time in full, so it ended up okay. Seems to be just a minor setback.

Towards the middle of August I knew there were some good possibilities on the horizon so I allowed myself to splurge a little bit. I felt guilty about it, but they were all things we had been planning to buy for ages so I knew it wouldn’t be entirely wasteful. (Even my splurging is calculated!) After we finished Jules’ arcade cabinet, we needed another quick project so we built some wall shelves for the area above our desks. We made a trip to Ikea and got some new bookshelves for the office to organize the hideous mess that we’d been living with since we moved in. (The large shelf was too wide to fit between the columns so we made a plinth to raise it up enough to be above the column bases which are, honestly, pretty ridiculous.) We bought and installed some new curtains and rods for the sunroom as a response to the ridiculous heatwave we were experiencing this summer and in preparation for Jules’ parents’ visit in a few weeks so they will have privacy in there. (Jules mentioned feeling really nervous when he was using the sunroom coffeetable as a place to assemble his control panel for the arcade cabinet since the neighbors could see through the window very easily and seeing a mess of wires inside a box could be an indication he was building something a bit more…destructive.) The house is really starting to look great. (At Jules’ suggestion we also rearranged the downstairs entertainment area to give the room a more spacious, open feel. We all like it much better now.)

Other things that happened during this time included me working tirelessly on my portfolio (then searching for jobs), getting the flu really badly for about 2 weeks, the summer Uberthday party, some job interviews, Peter coming to visit unexpectedly for one evening, preparing and sending off the form to remove Jules’ conditional status from his permanent residency, and finishing the Totoro blanket (pics to come.) I did a contracting gig just before starting my new job this week, which went really well. It would be fun to do that full time!

Tonight Chris is coming down from Vancouver so he can attend PAX with us on the weekend. We took Friday off work and Monday is a holiday so we have 4 days off! Lots of friends old and new will be there so we expect a really large group of people to hang out with. It should be fun! After that’s over, we have a day to recover, then Mum & Dad Lancaster fly in from Australia. They’ll stay with us for awhile, and then we jet over to Wisconsin to visit my family and friends. We’re there over a weekend then back on Monday. All the while I am adjusting to a new job. Additionally, Nathaniel has put an offer on a really fantastic house and is all hyped up about it so that’s generating a lot of excitement in FABS (our house.) He should hear back this afternoon on whether the seller accepted his offer, and if they did, it means our place is going to be in upheaval for quite awhile! Ivan (Jules’ little brother) is still waiting to hear back on round two of the green card lottery but it is looking really good for him because 3D animators are in high demand right now and they are giving those types of people priority!

Let it never be said that I lead a dull life!

Speaking of which, I had an interesting thought recently. I have been reconnecting with some of my old friends (those who stayed in Wisconsin) on some of the social networking sites and have discovered that in almost every instance they remember details about things that happened years ago that I have since forgotten. Things like people’s names and silly crap we used to do together. I instantly recall these things when they bring them up, but they seem to have been pushed totally out of conscious thought. I began to wonder why this is, since I consider myself to have an exceptional memory. (I have nothing on my brother in comparison, but he’s an anomaly!) Many of the people in my life have memories like sieves, so I am the one they come to for confirmation on specific details. If something is meaningful, I just remember.

So why have I forgotten all these fantastic memories from my early 20s? The only conclusion I can come to (no alzheimer’s jokes, please) is that it is possible I have had many more life-altering experiences since that time in my life than those friends who haven’t moved out of our home state. I’ve traveled to Australia twice, survived a major anxiety-based illness, packed up my life and driven across the country, gotten set up in a new place, held several different jobs, brought Jules over from Australia, got married, moved twice more, bought a car, bought a house, traveled to England, adopted 3 cats, made new friends and generally experienced and indulged in life in Seattle and its surrounding area. That’s just in the last 5 years, and it’s a LOT. I suppose when I look at things this way, it’s no wonder I’ve forgotten things that I once considered integral pieces of my life. I can’t help but feel a measure of sadness, though, when I am reminded of something I’d long forgotten and it evokes the feeling of that time in my life. Almost all of these are really happy memories. I guess if this trend continues, I will continue to have moments where I suddenly recall something really awesome that happened in college, and I will be able to relive that time, if only briefly, and smile because I am truly happy.

I never expected my summer would turn out the way it has. It’s mostly a bad thing at this point, but depending on where things head now I could change my mind about that.

Here’s a basic rundown of what happened. The company I was working for started losing business during the spring due to close ties to Microsoft, who were really feeling the effect of the tanking economy. For several months the graphics team I was on had very little work to do, and eventually the owner decided he had to take some drastic measures to save the company so they laid several people off. It came as a complete shock to me as I had been assured by my manager during these slow months that no one’s job was in jeopardy and as long as we did as much as we could to keep ourselves productive it would be fine.

The layoffs came with no warning late on a Monday afternoon while I was working on a new project (which I’m sure will forever be canned now that no one remaining there has my skillset) and when they brought me into the conference room I figured it was to discuss the project. I ended up with about 20 minutes to collect my things and get out of there, which was extremely humiliating. I had dozens of books there amongst all my other belongings and had Jules not worked there as well, I would have had a lot of trouble getting everything home. It was a struggle even with his help. He was in charge of disabling my account while they brought the hammer down on me in the conference room. I can’t imagine what he must have been feeling as he did that.

This happened two days before my birthday. I had secretly been wishing I had asked for time off on my birthday then wondered if someone up above had heard that request. Not exactly what I had in mind! Careful what you wish for, eh?

I cried a lot over this because I was very loyal to the company and felt like I had given them so much during my time there. I was happy there. I had chosen them specifically over Microsoft because I felt they had the right mix of professionalism, integrity, and relaxed atmosphere that was attractive to me. And then they can me after 2 years because they felt that not paying for my salary and benefits was a good way to save on costs. Sure, it’s the same story all over the world right now, and lots of quality people are getting the boot when they’ve done nothing wrong, and I’m not claiming to be any different than anyone in the same situation, but I felt really betrayed. If I hadn’t been told not to worry because my job was safe, perhaps I would feel slightly differently, but maybe not.

I do feel very bitter about it though. What did I do to deserve this? Only do my job to the best of my ability, which they were extremely satisfied with. Why do I need to go to classes to learn how to be “properly unemployed”? I know how to write a resume and search for a job, thank you. That humiliating orientation class required for Washington workers claiming unemployment made me feel about this big. It was a complete waste of my time. Thanks a lot. :( And thanks for making me spend my summer in the basement in front of my computer searching for jobs. That’s exactly what I wanted to do. Thanks for cutting off my money source while we were working to get out of debt and keeping us from camping and improving the house because we have to be cautious about affording our bills. Yeah, that’s just great.

So what am I to take away from all of this? Don’t trust your manager? No matter how valuable you are to your organization, it isn’t valuable enough? Your job is never safe? Don’t get comfortable? Always look for something better, just in case? These are all bitter, angry, petulant thoughts. Yes, all of them have crossed my mind more than is healthy in the last two months, but in the end I just have to move on. I resent being put in this position, but on the other hand…

I am a very logical, rational person. I like everything to be organized and structured and have little patience for time and money wasters. However, a large part of my personality is built around the belief that everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe in coincidence. Since everything was so perfect in my life when the layoff happened, there has to be a really strong reason the universe decided to shake things up. Perhaps it is time for me to start a new career, or to grow my freelance business. The universe has something in mind for me. Even during my angriest moments, the feeling of this situation being meaningful in a different way was always present. Something amazing must be on the horizon. Even if that sounds ridiculous to you, this is the attitude I must take, lest I go completely crazy.

Just a quick update to mention that I have started a new full-time contact position. July and August were mostly wasted months for me searching for work but I did manage to finish quite a few unfinished projects. Details to come.