Ahh, the memories. Some major refresh issues though when the game scrolls. It seems running an emulator within an emulator isn’t exactly efficient.

Will bought “Hang It Up” with his bonus points and suddenly the world seemed a much happier place.

What else could possibly go wrong today?

Jules is cute.

Today was a bit better than yesterday, although I’ve had a headache for as long as I’ve been awake (which actually hasn’t been all that long, as I got up for good at 2:30 PM.) Jules called me this morning sometime before 6:30 and we got to talk for a decent amount of time (~2 hours) which was absolutely wonderful. We’ve discussed our mutual need to have this talk time each day, how we both feel a giant gap in our day if we miss one conversation. I know that a lot of people would see this desperate need for each other to be somewhat pathetic or weak, but I feel so good being able to devote every bit of myself to loving him and if that creates a dependence (which it does) I welcome it with open arms. Loving Jules is what I consider my sole purpose in life. I know he feels the same about me, and I’m happy about that. “We’re so perfect for each other it’s scary,” he said to me this morning. Indeed.

It was a pretty nice weekend. Saturday Will and I wanted to get sushi for lunch but the shop was closed so we went to a burger joint instead. I couldn’t finish the chicken burger I ordered because it was too big. That evening we went to the Omni Halloween party. At first I felt really unsociable because none of the people Will had introduced me to were there, so while Will went to help set things up, I sat at his computer and chatted/surfed for a bit. The CEO’s daughter came in dressed as Kiki and started talking to me about the movie (Kiki’s Delivery Service) and I told her she should use Lotus (the company’s black cat) as part of her costume so she chased her around a bit. Then one of the employees came in dressed as a pirate and said “Arrr, I’m here for your mp3s!” and after a bit Will showed up and asked me to join the party in the ballroom.

I was still really full from lunch so I didn’t have anything to eat but had a few beers instead. We went down to the basement and I showed off my mad katamari skillz to a few interested guys and once our audience dwindled we went back upstairs and spent the rest of the evening playing “Medieval Madness,” this highly addicting pinball game. Even as we left, I still wanted to play more. “I’m glad you don’t have a short attention span,” Will said as I asked him for the fifth time in a row if he wanted to keep playing. I’m glad he was as obsessed with topping his score as I was about mine.

Sunday was Shishday so we went over to Chad’s place and went out for a sushi lunch. It took forever for our food to arrive and the waitress was pretty distracted and inattentive so Will vowed never to eat there again. I ordered too much sushi as usual so I needed help finishing it. Afterwards we went into the Asian grocery (Uwajimaya) so I could get some instant noodles, then I went down the street for a Jasmine bubble tea (mmmm!) We proceeded back to Chad’s place where he gave us a demo of F.E.A.R. (which I *really* enjoyed!) followed by several hours of Indigo Prophecy, a game which I had mild interest in and Chad had already played through. We were all glued to the TV and felt great reluctance in having to stop playing, but we had great dinner plans that needed to be carried out. We treated Chad to The Cheesecake Factory, which we’ve decided is the default birthday dinner place since the prices are somewhat reasonable, the food is great and comes in big portions, plus CHEESECAKE! It was really yummy, and I could only manage about half of my meal, but that was fine because it left enough for another meal later on the next day! After dinner, we stopped back at Chad’s place so I could get my backpack and Will could go to the bathroom. It was raining out and I sat in the car while the guys ran upstairs. We then set out to get Rayme from the airport as he’d just returned from London. He had a lot of fun stories to tell and was in really good spirits so it was really, really nice to see him again.

Monday I completed my “CSS homework” the potential employer asked me to do and I had all sorts of trouble sending it off, which enraged me because I felt like I really needed to get it to him as soon as possible. I ended up having to delete my mail account in Mail.app and re-enter all the information before it would actually save the settings. (Why, you stupid program, would you just randomly stop working *just* when I most needed it?!) I decided I really wanted to get a reading lamp for my room because I felt the overhead light was too harsh, plus I was getting tired of spending hours reading under my nice warm covers, only to have to get out of bed, cross the room to turn the light out, then crawl back in bed, by which time I was feeling awake again. Will was interested in getting a CD alarm clock so we took a trip to Target to get said items. He wanted to take a peek in the mall for some things for Hiroko so we stopped in EB on the way out and I found a copy of Alien Hominid for $18 so I got that. Since it was Halloween, there were children all over the place dressed in costume, trick-or-treating in the safety of the mall. Will and I decided it was kind of sad that times have caused something like that to happen (getting candy from businesses rather than your own neighbors) but it was also probably a good idea since it’s a big, public place with plenty of light, indoors, and probably a million times safer than letting the kids do it the traditional way, outside. I’m glad I had the chance to do that when I was a kid, though. Will was really interested in getting the PS2 version of Indigo Prophecy but we could only find the XBox version. The EB employees told us to try Toys R’ Us, and sure enough they had it. Once we got back home I assembled my lamp and Will played around with his clock for awhile and we both took turns making delighted noises as we found different things to be pleased about regarding our purchases. After that we played IP for a few hours. Oh, yeah, I also received the 3 Haruki Murakami books I won off eBay in the mail (Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, A Wild Sheep Chase, and After the Quake.) I finished reading Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything and immediately started in on HBW. I’m excited to start a fiction book again since it’s been awhile.

Tuesday I had all the internet trouble, so most of the day was wasted on that bullshit. I got to talk to Jules briefly before he went to work, after which I took a walk to Sunset Hill Park, which is high up on a hill overlooking Puget Sound. I took a few photos but it was already really dark by that time so they didn’t come out very well. I crocheted for most of the evening and watched some Arrested Development and then Will and I played more IP until suddenly Will looked down at his watch and noticed it was 2:30 AM. I got to talk to Jules for a bit then I started watching The Virgin Suicides after he went to dinner. After about 40 minutes I could no longer keep my eyes open so I reluctantly went to bed.

Jules called me again this morning after I’d been asleep for about an hour and a half so I was really tired. Like I said, it was a really nice conversation and started the day off well. I went back to sleep after we hung up (“Haa~aaang it up!”) and slept really late. I finished watching The Virgin Suicides (great film) and soon Jules had woken up so we talked for a little before he went off to work. I then grabbed my stuff and decided to head out to the park again to get some pictures before it got too dark, but was waylaid when my mp3 player wouldn’t turn on. I thought I was screwed but it turned out that hitting reset fixed it, so off I went. Just as I stepped outside it started raining so I ended up having a rather nice outing. I was able to get some decent pictures before the light totally disappeared, but I’ll have to go back again sometime when it’s actually sunny out. I was cold and soaking by the time I got home and was craving a warm shower so I took one then had dinner. I looked at the contracting agreement for the potential job and came up with a bunch of questions to ask the employer, so I guess now I’ll wait for a reply. Will is talking to Hiroko right now so I don’t know if there will be any Indigo Prophecy tonight but I suppose having a relaxing night on my own isn’t all that bad. It’s only bad when I’m alone too much. :(

It feels good to be able to sit down and write a proper entry. Since I’ve been sleeping really late in the afternoon I’ve just been really lacking in motivation to do…anything. It seems like the only thing I want to do these days is talk to Jules. That is such an integral part of my existence and even though it’s such a tiny fraction of my time spent each day, the rest of my waking hours are filled with thoughts of him and what our life will be like when he’s finally here. When I go on walks I look at the houses and apartment buildings and imagine living in different places with him, picturing what the inside of our home will look like. I imagine him by my side, walking with me to the park, having dinner with me in the evening, curling up next to me on the couch while we play video games or watch movies together, our dog (Dougal!) and cats pattering around in front of us. *sigh* We’re going to have such a wonderful life together.

I love you so much, Julian James.

This hasn’t been a very nice day. This morning I was talking with Jules on Skype and he was having trouble understanding me because his connection is shaped so the bandwidth is limited. We were going to put up with it until midnight (his time) when it goes unshaped, but at 11:50 my connection decided to die completely. I spent the next hour desperately trying to get it back in any form…connecting to my neighbor’s wireless, resetting all the equipment…but nothing worked. I just could not get online. So we didn’t even get the chance to say goodnight to each other. :( I was so angry and frustrated, I felt like smashing my powerbook. The only thing that kept me from doing that was the thought that that would *really* cut off my communication with him permanently. I was *angry.* So after about an hour I left a note for Will telling him that the internet had disappeared and I went to bed in frustration. I cried for awhile but eventually fell asleep for awhile. When I woke up the connection was still gone. I’ve been fighting with it all day now, and finally at almost 4 PM it seems to have stablized. :(

I had wanted to go walk to Puget Sound and take some photos today but it’s been raining all day so I decided not to. Instead I’m sitting inside doing nothing in particular. (Misc tasks like laundry mostly.) I installed Plone so I could take a look at that. I don’t know what I’ll do this afternoon and evening…I feel like hiding.

I’ll write about the more happy things that have happened recently when I actually feel like it.

I don’t put a smile upon your face no more
I can’t make your heart shine like it did before
You don’t listen to my stories anymore
You can’t comfort me the way you did before

No matter how far, no matter how long
I will be there