For the first time in many months, I feel positively joyful. I’ll explain.

The main thing today was Chris told me that they will be filming part of the Silent Hill movie in his hometown! That news got me so excited, like bouncing out of my seat excited, because not only is that my favorite series of games, but for a long time now Chris and I have been talking about playing the first game together. He even mentioned awhile back how much his town looked like Silent Hill when it was rainy and foggy out. Waaaaaaaa! He might even have an opportunity to go and watch the filming, which would be cool beyond belief! I just can’t stop smiling about it. It’s so great

Then Will plugged this Elevator Disco. I think I watched it 8 times. Damn that’s funny.

I have been very sad lately which admittedly is a statement of the obvious. Things are changing though, so hopefully soon I won’t have to be sad at all. I’m in emotional upheaval right now, my mind zooms around all day long, making concentration difficult if not impossible. It’s not a bad thing by any means, but I’m so distracted by nature… :-)

Julian James Lancaster is the most perfect and wonderful person ever.

So we’ve put an end to it this time.
I’m no longer yours and you’re no longer mine.
You said this hill looks far too steep
if I’m not even sure it’s me you wanna keep.
And it’s been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time I’ve touched you is in my sleep.

‘Cos baby time has changed nothing at all -
you’re still the only one that feels like home.
And I’ve tried cutting the ropes,
I let you go but you’re still the only one
that feels like home, yeah,
you’re still the only one that feels like home,
you’re still the only one I’ve gotta love.
Oh yeah…

Ugg boot up the arse is the most painful thing on earth.

There are just no words. Just frozen, staring, crying. I don’t know what to do.

I feel so sad and lonely today. Everyone’s gone this weekend so there’s no one to spend time with, which sucks because I just feel like having a chat with someone. After hitting a brick wall with the design I’m working on I started having feelings of worthlessness. After a good cry they’re diminished some but I still feel sad. I feel like going out and doing something but I don’t feel like being out in public. I’m sure hormones are playing a part in this, but I guess the reason really doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I don’t want to feel this way. If I could recapture the happiness I felt this summer and give it a home here in the darkness of winter, I would be far better off. But alas, it’s not to be. There’s tons of things I’d like to do but suddenly feeling like I’m not good enough is holding me back.

I hate being alone. It drags me down so much.

I think I’m finally done dinking around with different blog authoring software packages. I tried WordPress for awhile because I was tired of the MovableType comment spam I was getting, but I soon noticed that Chris (who set up his WP blog just prior to mine) was already getting hit with comment spam. So because I was having great difficulty importing my MT entries into WP and I hadn’t actually created that many entries in WP, I decided to investigate other options, in particular those that had good spam protection built in. Eventually Chris and I both settled on Serendipity and spent a crapload of time trying to figure out how to import the entries from my old Blahg. Eventually Chris nailed the problem and we got it to work properly. There are a few drawbacks to the new blog, in that the comments didn’t copy over, and some of the formatting of the older entries is a bit out of whack, but I think it will be better in the long run.

I’ve moved my old blogs to an archive, but I’ve incorporated my Australia blog into this one as well so everything is still here (minus comments.)

I’ll worry about styling the page later on so that it matches the site redesign that I hope to complete soon. So for the time being, this will just be the default flavor, which in all honesty isn’t that bad. It’s clean and simple in any case.

So hopefully everything will work out with this. Thanks for all your help Chris.