Okay, so I knew the day would come when I’d have to say goodbye to Will, but I didn’t think it would happen so suddenly. Sunday night I was talking to him online and he casually announced that he was going for a job interview in Seattle this week and was just going to move there. o_O And also that he was taking Peter with him. I began panicking, thinking that they were leaving and I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye! As luck would have it, Will had to work on Monday night and he was leaving on Tuesday, so I thought for sure there would be no time to bid them farewell, but I was determined to make sure I could do that. So Monday night after work I drove up to Green Bay and spent time with Will, Ben, and Hiroko. Eventually Jon and Brian showed up and Will went into work, despite being really ill. The five of us met up with Will at his workplace and we all went out for dinner at some steak place that had menus set in Comic Sans. Yuck. The food was good though (I had a smoked turkey sandwich and mashed potatoes.) After that Will went back to work, so we went back to the house and played video games. After awhile Will came back, saying he’d felt too sick to stay at work. Then Peter came over and played this original NES game called “Bad Dudes” which was ridiculously stupid. After a bit Ben went to bed and Jon and Brian left with Hiroko, so it was just me, Will, and Peter. It was really nice being able to spend that time with them, even though we didn’t do much. I decided to leave at midnight because I had work the next morning, and as I was leaving, Hiroko came back. I shared a hug with each of them and then drove home. Surprisingly I didn’t cry at all like I had the night before. Maybe it was because I was so tired, or because I knew I’d see them again relatively soon (Peter is coming back in about 2 weeks and Will is returning home at some point to tie up loose ends and collect Roko and her things.) It was very difficult staying awake on the drive home.

So yeah, that was the biggest thing as of late. I found myself really distraught over the thought of losing Will. It was even worse when I thought Peter was staying with him in Seattle (since we’d planned on living together in Portland!) but I felt a bit better when I found out Peter was just along for company. Will is such an important person in my life and has become one of my best friends. It’s going to be really difficult not being able to see him, but at least we still have the internet. sigh

So…the rest of the weekend. Well…Friday night I hung out with Jon and Brian as usual. We played some video games, then Brian disappeared never to be seen again that night. Jon and I went shopping for food, then he was like “Wanna go rollerblading?” How could I resist? So we skated around all of the newly paved streets in the neighborhood for about a half hour or so, until Jon got a little tired. It was awesome though, he could keep up with me! :-D

Saturday Jeff and Erin had a party at their place in Green Bay so we all went to that. Brian brought his girlfriend Martha along, which turned out to be okay because she knew some people there. I was a bit concerned the people would scare her off, but she held up really well. Yay! Much DDR was played…I wore a long shirt and shorts and the guys enjoyed pretending I wasn’t wearing any shorts…haha. I spent several hours playing several of the guys in Tetris and I ended up with this hideous headache as a result. It remained for the rest of the night despite my attempt at a nap at one point. Oh well. I had fun.

Sunday I went rollerblading with Alisha in the park. It was just gorgeous out, the sun was shining and it was fairly calm. Some Hispanic guys in the park kept checking us out and yelling things to us in Spanish, which of course we couldn’t understand. After our 10 laps, I came home and washed my car while Alisha mowed the lawn, then we went out to Nakashima for sushi. I had a LOT, but it was delicious. The headache that I’d had from Tetris the day before faded into nothingness as I was introduced to a new level of pain when I started to show signs of sunburn. As the night progressed it got worse and worse, as my “sunburn headaches” tend to do. And then I found out about Will, and it was just too much to handle. Tears. Oh yeah, and I also made a long, deep gouge in my ankle when I cut myself shaving. I’d just put a new blade in my razor and forgot about it, and I took a swipe and suddenly I sucked in my breath quickly as the stinging pain hit me. The blood gushed out of the wound, and when I looked at the razor, there was this huge piece of skin hanging off it. EEWWWWWW! It still hurts like a mofo, but at least it’s stopped bleeding.

sigh

And my days continue to be filled with much longing and pining for Ross. I am so excited for my trip to Australia, it’s pretty much all I think about anymore. I love you so much Ross. :3

I discovered something quite remarkable this week while I was downloading stuff. I happened across a bootleg of the audio for the A Perfect Circle concert I saw last November. Based on the filename I was pretty sure it could be the same concert, but I wasn’t sure. When I took a listen, though, the memories came flooding back. It was exactly the same concert, and the quality of the audio was absolutely amazing. That night I went to bed extremely gleeful, as I was looking forward to listening to the music at work the next day in addition to the usual excitement over my impending trip to Australia. :3 Of course I called up TR the following day to let him know about the CD because I knew he’d want to get ahold of it. I haven’t seen him very much since school ended, so it was cool to talk to him for a little bit again. I miss him a lot.

At the end of this month I’ll actually have enough saved for my plane ticket already. :-D Yaaaay! As this was the whole reason for the reinstatement of my No-Spend plan, I decided it would be okay to make an exception and purchase something that a) was on sale at an incredible price, and b) I really need. I’ve been spending a little bit of time every night for the last while burning CDs or DVDs to clear off my hard drives. It actually got pretty ridiculous at one point, in which one of my drives got down to 1.14 MEGAbytes. Not gigs. Megs. I mean, holy crap. And every time I looked up into my closet and saw my Dazzle video capture device, a wave of sadness would wash over me. I have no storage space left. So I was looking on Best Buy’s website and I came across a special on a 250 GB Maxtor hard drive for $150. That was the cheapest I was able to find it anywhere so I decided this would be an acceptable purchase. I ordered that as well as an IDE add-on card so I can just add this drive in rather than swapping one of my other ones out. I think the course of action will be to partition off my 60 GB drive into a Windows partition and an applications partition, then collapse the partition on my 120 GB hard drive (which currently contains Windows on one and applications and data on the other) to make it a data-only drive, and use the new 250 GB for video editing. I would really like to get all my Caroline in the City episodes captured and put on DVD so I can get rid of my VHS tapes. As far as I know my Sony standalone player can play DVD-R discs so that would be really cool if I could make a DVD set out of my tapes. Then try to sell the tapes on eBay or something.

Okay, so I spent $200 on that purchase (drive and card) and I must admit I felt extremely guilty about it. I had Ross’s face staring at me from my computer screen and I really really felt bad about it. Of course this means that my method of keeping myself from spending money recklessly is working, but maybe a little too well. I talked to Ross about it after I did it and he told me not to feel guilty because it was a good choice. I will still be able to afford to go to Australia so I guess that means it’s a win-win situation. I also purchased some more exercise clothes because it was getting pretty disgusting to skate in the same thing every day for a week when I’ve been sweating as much as I have. One of the tops I bought shows a lot of cleavage though, which makes me feel really self-conscious, and I do notice that people look at me differently when I wear it. Especially guys. Okay, so I have a huge chest, but my eyes are up here! And don’t look at me like that, I have a boyfriend who I’m completely and utterly devoted to. Get out of my way, stop leering and let me skate. There were a couple guys last week who were trying to flirt with me but I had no interest in that, I just kept skating past without interacting with them…which only seemed to spur them on. sigh Why did I not get this kind of attention when I was single and wanted it? I guess I give off an aura of confidence and allure because I’m in love, and maybe that’s what they’re attracted to. In any case, there is only one man I want checking me out.

Otherwise…lately I’ve been skating 10 miles almost every day and spending the remainder of the evening in my room burning discs and crocheting. I’ve also been horribly addicted to this browser-based RPG called The Kingdom of Loathing which at first glance seems super-low in quality but in actuality is incredibly clever and complex. Several of my online friends have been playing as well and we’ve made a clan. Any game where an item called “anticheese” can be combined with “goat’s cheese” to create “a goat” cannot be bad! :-D In terms of things occupying my thoughts lately, this game would be number two. Number one being, of course…well, it should be obvious. If it isn’t, you’re completely dense.

Yeah, I’ve been hanging out with Jon quite a bit lately, which has been great. My Gamecube and Dreamcast have both now taken up residence in his apartment, which is fine since I really don’t feel like playing games much anymore. (Even though I keep downloading DC games!) The only time I ever feel like playing at all is when I’m over there, so it works out pretty well, though I’m sure my playing of Animal Crossing isn’t all that exciting to him or Brian. XD That game is nothing but a time-waster, something to be played when you don’t really feel like doing anything meaningful. Okay, yes, video games are really fun. I have no problem admitting this…and I’ve spent a lot of time and energy engaged in gaming. But in the last few months I’ve pretty much lost my desire to game by myself at all. Sort of like I’ve lost my desire to hoard DVDs and miscellaneous stuff in my room. I’ve discovered some things that are so much more meaningful to me, and in all honesty I’d rather sit in my chair lost in thought than play a game. Of course there are some exceptions…when Silent Hill 4 is finally released I will definitely be playing that constantly until I beat it. But generally speaking…meh. Stuff is just stuff. And I don’t need it. When you’re in love, some things you place so much stock in tend to become moot and pointless if they’re only there as filler.

It’s really funny what love can do to a person. I’ve always been a very loving and passionate individual, which anyone who knows me will attest to. When I love someone or something, I adore it, cherish it, and have overwhelming feelings of goodness about it. There is no room for doubt…it’s always clear. Love has always been very integral in making me who I am…I would say this is the core element of my identity as a person. I believe I exist to love, that this is the reason I’ve been put on earth. I’ve always felt very in touch with my definition of love and what I perceived to be my capacity for it. Because of this, I truly believed I had been in love before. I really really loved my ex-boyfriends, that was never in question. But was I in love with them? If asked now, I’d have to say no. What I feel for Ross is so incredibly far beyond anything I have ever felt for any person…it’s difficult not to break down into a flurry of cliches when I try to describe it because this is where language begins to fail me. There is a real reason those cliches exist, because in many cases they are as close as one can get to describing the indescribable. It’s this feeling of complete and total selflessness…that I would give or do absolutely anything for him if it would make him happy, and my happiness would be garnered from his reaction to this. There is total trust and understanding, comfort, and honesty.

It makes sense that people’s definitions of love can grow and change as they discover things about themselves and their partners, that one person really can demonstrate to you what it means to love someone so purely that any preconceived ideas are just thrown out the window. In the last two weeks alone, I have been in utter amazement at the way my feelings for him have grown and matured, strengthened and intensified. Every time I talk to him I love him more than the last time. He is always the focus of my thoughts during the day and while I’m asleep, whether I’m aware of it or not. It’s interesting to think about our love as something of an experiment, as we are both developing an understanding of what it means to truly love someone, how it feels, and the impact it has on us all the way down to the soul. Even someone like me who loves so readily can only draw from the experiences they’ve had in life, so my understanding is still developing too. My capacity for love has been proven time and time again to be much higher than I ever expected, which can actually be a bit scary to think about because it just reminds me of how little I really know and understand of it. It is my sincere hope that I continue to surprise and delight myself by rediscovering every single day what it means to love him, and falling in love with him over and over again.

This morning Ross said to me, “you’re not one in a million, you’re not one in a billion, you’re one in everything and anything there ever was and shall ever be.”

I cannot begin to describe to you how much I love this man. The English language does not contain any combination of words, even the most eloquent and flowing, that would even come close to explaining what I feel for him. I have never come close to feeling this way about any other human being for as long as I’ve been alive. I know now that I would rather be dead than to be without him.

I forgot if I wrote about this already but I’m going to do so now regardless. At the beginning of this month, when I got my paycheck, I was able to pay off all my credit card bills in full. This is the first time I’ve been able to do that since last September, as it was then that I put that fall’s tuition on one of my cards, and thus began the months of credit card debt. When I got my car, I was offered an interest-free credit card from the bank as well as a balance transfer from another card, so I took the opportunity to move the tuition bill from a rather high-interest card to one that had no interest, thus extending the amount of time I’d have to pay off the balance. Up until that point I was really afraid about my financial situation because I knew I wasn’t going to have a job anymore after January, so I had no income in which to pay anything off.

In any case, without this becoming too detailed, what ended up happening was that I was finally able to clear up all of my credit card debt at the start of this month. Which, in turn, means that I have no educational debt whatsoever to worry about. The only outstanding debt I have right now is my car loan, which I’ll be paying for a total of five years, and of course this is an acceptable form of debt because I’m building my credit with it. This is really amazing when one thinks about it because it is extremely rare for anyone to leave college without significant financial obligations to any number of places that offered them money to pay for their education. (Including one’s parents, if that’s the case.) With the help of a couple scholarships I was able to pay for my entire education myself. My parents did chip in some money along the way when I first had to pay for housing but by the end I didn’t need their help at all. This really is a truly amazing thing, because so many people have student loans haunting them for years after graduation. But my choosing to go to a state school close to home helped matters significantly, as did holding down one or two or even three jobs at any given time, and in the end I had everything completely paid for six months after graduation. That’s almost unheard of for someone whose parents didn’t pay their whole way through school. I am truly lucky. Sometimes I look back and think about how much more fun I would have had in college if I hadn’t had a job all the time, but I also would have been unbearably poor and I wouldn’t have gained the professional work experience that I have. I’m quite far ahead of many of my peers for that reason alone.

I really have been thinking about money a lot recently since I’ve started selling things on eBay and saving for my trip to Australia. First of all, I’m so tired of being tied down to things, to material possessions, to the point where buying things I don’t need actually sickens me. (Yes, I have to make things overly dramatic or it makes no impression on me.) I want to get rid of things I don’t want or need anymore, and try living a more simple existence. Thoughts of selling my computer and getting a laptop have crossed my mind, but I doubt that will happen because there are just so many advantages to having a full desktop machine, and I do have the space for it. Nnngh. Technically I have 4 computers right now, although I only keep my main one on. That’s just excessive. I have 3 video game consoles now (also excessive.) I have way too many DVDs although I’ve sold about 10 or so on eBay in the past week. My CD collection is out of control. I mean, there is just way too much clutter in my life.

I used to think my mother was crazy for not wanting to own things (she never buys anything besides food) but now I’m beginning to understand the attractiveness of a simple life. In all honesty it took falling in love to convince me that I didn’t need things to be happy. When I realized that I could sell every possession I own and still be blissful, I began making changes right away. I no longer have this need for *stuff*. Sure, I still have the urge to buy things I want (such as expensive DVD sets and the like) but I can always ask for those things that I really want as gifts. I’ve gone from materialistic mega-shopper to someone who only buys consumable necessities (namely, food and toiletries.) The only exceptions I’ve made to my no-spend plan have been things that directly benefit me in some way, like the scratch repair kit I bought for the discs I was selling on eBay (a wise investment) and the packs of blank DVDs so I can backup and archive my computer before I reformat. Otherwise the majority of my spending has been shampoo and soup. Literally. So I feel that I’m doing very well for myself considering what a dramatic change has taken place.

Actually a lot of changes have happened in the last while since I made up my mind to start saving money. I’ve continued eating well and exercising regularly, and my body feels a lot better than it has in a long time. I’m nearly back down to the weight I was in high school, which is awesome. I feel a lot more confident about myself and what I’m capable of since I made up my mind I was going to go to Australia despite the price and whether someone came with me or not. Thus far I’ve done everything by myself even though I’ve wanted help and companionship so badly (getting proper documentation to get passport, etc) which proves to myself how serious I am about this endeavor. It would have been so easy for me to just cop out and say “Oh, I can’t afford the ticket…I’m too scared to go find the passport office…I refuse to travel alone…” etc because I’m excellent at making excuses to get out of things that scare me. I have no problem admitting I am scared shitless about this trip. There are so many things that are totally new and unknown to me, and I have most certainly shed tears over them on more than one occasion. However, the repercussions of not going are far more devastating. I do have the money for one thing, I do have the time (I’ll be between jobs then), and all the Aussies I’ll be visiting have holidays during that time. This is the perfect opportunity. I get to spend an entire month with the person I love most in this world and some of the best friends I’ve ever made in my life. Who knows when I’ll ever have a chance like this again? Perhaps never. So that’s why I would be a total fucking MORON not to do this. So I’ve decided to put my fears to the side and say fuck the cost, because any amount of debt I’ll slide into (temporarily) will be so worth it because the experience will be mind-blowing.

So I’m facing life with a confidence that I’ve never felt before…as I have very clear-cut goals and deliberate methods of achieving them, all under my own power and volition. I’m beginning to feel a bit more like an adult because I’ve made these decisions independent of other people’s influences. This is all me. And God bless my parents, whose only response to my announcement that I’m going to Australia was “Are you going to have enough money to move to Portland then?”

I really am truly happy right now.

Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love him more, I surprise myself. I adore you beyond words, my leprechaun.

I stayed up far too late on Monday night and as a result I needed a nap really badly. But first I went to Best Buy because they were having this incredibly decent deal on DVD-Rs. A 50-pack was selling for $40 when it normally sells for $70! I was very torn about whether or not I should spend the money or not because I’d made a pact with myself, Ross, and everyone around me that I wouldn’t. But I am in quite desperate need of recordable media to back up the massive amount of data on my hard drives and I’ve needed to reinstall Windows for about 6 months now. Plus, by buying two packs of discs I was basically getting one of them free because I saved $60 total. It seemed like a wise investment to me, because it’s something I’ve needed and will continue to need. Besides, Ross told me if it bothered me to have spent the money I could just send all the discs filled with music to him. XD

I’m really tired again today so I think I’ll nap again before rollerblading. I really want to go tonight since I didn’t get to go last night (what with it being uber-windy outside in addition to me being deathly tired.)

I also watched Spiderman 2 last night, which sadly was pretty disappointing. I found myself pretty bored through most of it, wishing it would end. Dr. Octopus was pretty cool, but then again, I think Alfred Molina is awesome no matter who he plays. Kirsten Dunst was ditzy and annoying, and further proved she is only a hot body to ogle who cannot act to save her life. The inclusion of “The Importance of Being Earnest” as a play within the movie reminded me how stupid that film was despite the male leads being played by the delicious Colin Firth and Rupert Everett. drool So in a way, that’s sort of the opposite of the Kirsten Dunst thing…two actors who are good looking and good actors can’t even save a movie if the material itself is shit. XD I know “Earnest” is a classic and everything, and there are a lot of cute and funny things about it, but it’s just so *DUMB*.

I crocheted quite a bit and basically just sat around my room all night…it was nice for a change. At least Monday’s sour mood had cleared up by then and I was able to enjoy my time alone. I keep watching the “Ava Adore” video on my Smashing Pumpkins DVD because for some reason I’m really captivated by Billy. There’s just something about him in that video that I find extremely delicious in a creepy and dark way. After all, he has his head shaved as usual, is wearing this long black coat that accentuates his pale skin, and has this red makeup painted around his eyes. And of course, the vampire teeth (are they naturally like that? I’ve always wondered.) Billy has this very elegant and self-assured look to him, especially when he starts curling up his lip to the camera. I don’t really know why I like that so much, but it seems to affect me in the same way Giger’s paintings do…with this dark and disturbing but intensely erotic appeal. Mmm.

I was in a really angsty mood for some unknown reason last night. After dinner at my parents’ house, I came home and napped for a bit. I had an anxiety dream that was particularly fucked up, and was probably part of the reason I felt so crabby.

I had this gumball machine and I was taking it around and photographing it in different locations and with different people as an art project. (Sort of similar to the idea of the lawn gnome in Amelie travelling around and sending back photos.) Apparently this was a fairly well-known fact and people were kind of watching out for me so they could get photographed with the gumball machine. I was driving this really old crappy car around the ShopKo parking lot (why it wasn’t my nice car I have no clue) and this woman on a bicycle was following me a little too closely. She had decided to do a documentary project of her own which consisted of tracking me down and hounding me, and photographing me photographing people with the gumball machine. She was really persistent and wouldn’t leave me alone, and suddenly she became super competitive. Just then she turned into this really hot chick and she challenged me to a lifting contest. Using only one arm and a leg, we each had to lift another hot girl in the air. She was smiling and laughing, (and my god she was so tan and thin) and she was beating me without breaking a sweat. Rather than waiting for the scenario to play out (and me ultimately losing) I jarred myself awake, sweaty and anxious and crabby.

I spent a good chunk of time packaging up items from eBay sales and then I watched the new episode of Six Feet Under. I then spent the next several hours being really rude and crabby to people online, then apologizing. I just felt like testing people’s patience, and I knew I was being testy and angsty. Guh. I absolutely HATE it when I get like that. And I didn’t want to go to sleep so I was just getting more angsty. Arg. I’m feeling a bit better today but some of the frustration is still hanging around because I’m super tired. A nap should hopefully fix that.

Anny had her birthday party on Friday, and this was by far the highlight of the weekend. :-D 8 of the 10 people invited were in attendance, which was totally awesome. Many photos were taken. It was so nice having everyone in the same spot together again. Dinner was fantastic…I ordered a crapload of sushi and was only able to eat about 1/4 (at most) of what they gave me. I also took home Ben’s dinner because he barely made a dent in it and was just going to leave it there. Most of us enjoyed dessert after the meal (big fat chocolate cake…mmmm!) and then we went back to Brian and Jon’s apartment for some fun gaming. Much Warioware, Tetris, and Timesplitters 2 was experienced. Brian ducked into his room early and slept for the whole rest of the party.

A bit after midnight Will, Hiroko and Ben left, so it was just me, Peter, Dave, and Jon. Of course we decided to play drinking games then. XD I drove back to my place to get my vodka while the guys took a trip to the grocery store to get some mixers. Dave reminded us of the “correct” way to play Asshole, or some approximation of it. Futurama was on in the background for a bit but it proved to be too distracting so it got turned off. Jon went to bed a little while after that and Dave and Peter wanted to show me an episode of South Park but I fell asleep halfway through it. Dave had to be up for work the next day so he decided to leave. So Peter and I continued to drink and watch Fischerspooner visualizations until 6 AM. It was nice spending time with him again, as it’s been a really long time since that has happened. I didn’t sleep too much that night but that was okay, because I was able to nap later on.

I went rollerblading in the afternoon but there was this walleye tournament going on so my path was blocked with these people carrying nets of fish to these giant tanks. Annoying. After showering I was really tired so I watched part of The Butterfly Effect (courtesy of Dave) then napped. Jon woke me up with a phone call inviting me to dinner so I drove over there half asleep again. I really need to stop doing that, because it’s not very good. On Friday night I did just that…he woke me up with a call, and I drove over half dazed and I slammed my car door on the back of my calf (I thought my leg had cleared the door.) That hurt like a motherfarker, and still does. I don’t bruise very easily, but it’s beginning to bruise now. Owwwwwwww. In any case, we had dinner at Rocky Rococo’s (mmmmm!) and went up to Appleton. Jon convinced me to buy a UPS for my computer after saying, “What is this $40 going to mean in the grand scheme of things? Think of how much your plane ticket is! You’ve needed this for over a year!” (Over two, actually.) I had a $15 gift card anyhow so it dropped the price down even more. Brian bought me Super Smash Brothers Melee for Gamecube and Jon got me Norton antivirus (”So I can stop complaining about your antivirus software!”) We also went to Target so they could get more stuffles for the apartment. Some good finds included a shower caddy for 99 cents and…well, I guess that’s it. Once back at the apartment we watched Zoolander, which Dave had just bought and I’d never seen. Pretty damned funny stuff. XD

Sunday I rollerbladed 10 times around the path…ahhhh. :-D So great. I think I did my hips a disservice by doing that though, because they ache today. Oh well, it felt great at the time. After showering I went shopping for necessities, like toilet paper and drain unclogging stuff. I think I was able to unclog most of the drain in the bathroom sink, so that’s good. Combination of a crapload of hair and facewash, methinks. I spent a long fricken time packaging up all the items I’d sold on eBay in the last few days so I can send them out today. I’ve been doing rather well for myself with that…in a week I’ve made over $120 for a large quantity of items. So I’m getting rid of things that clutter up my life as well as making a little bit of extra money for them. Sweet. I have a ton more stuff to list, which will take a long time. But it’s worth it if someone wants the things. We both gain something…I get rid of the thing I don’t want and they get a sweet deal on something that’s in really good condition. Aside from my anal-retentive tendency to keep everything of mine in perfect condition, I am now really glad most of my things are well-preserved for the sake of selling them. I spent a considerable amount of time cleaning up my room as best as I could given the amount of crap hanging around in it. Mm. I really did NOT feel like going to bed last night so I stayed up a bit later than I should have. If a bit is 2 hours.

I’m really looking forward to tonight…my mom is baking. Mmmmm. Yummmm! :-D “You just made a yummy sound so I thought you liked the dessert!”

Staying at home this weekend turned out to be the right decision…and by home I mean Oshkosh, because I really wasn’t at my place very much. I was over at Brian and Jon’s new apartment Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, and I basically spent the entire weekend with them. We spent almost all day Saturday shopping for various items for the apartment, and after they agonized over different microwaves, they eventually decided on one (well, I decided for them.) It was nice to make food together rather than eating out all the time (although it wasn’t really so much cooking as it was nuking things in the microwave and making a pizza.) We watched the first two Indiana Jones movies and I fell asleep partway through each. Friday night I brought over my new Smashing Pumpkins DVD and watched that (and prolly did a fine job scaring Brian’s girlfriend) and we had some of my birthday brownies.

The apartment doesn’t have an internet connection yet so it was really weird and uncomfortable at first. But after a day or so I got used to it not always being there and I was able to relax. It’s really disturbing how much I depend on there being a net connection wherever I go. It’s not like I need it but I somehow feel a lot more comfortable knowing I can just hop on IRC and see who’s there. I remember last summer when I was waiting for our net connection to get hooked up…it was a period of about 2 weeks, and it was torturous at first but after a few days I’d grown used to it and had found other things to do. I’m bothered by how distracting IRC is. And I’m so used to being able to talk to Ross everyday that when this is not an option, I get angsty.

Saturday I gave myself a haircut…it wasn’t perfectly straight but mehhh, my hair is so long now you can’t tell the difference anyhow. Saved me 15 bux, so who gives a crap? I don’t. XD

Sunday I went to my parents’ house and collected up a bunch of books and CDs and brought them back with me, then started listing them on ebay. Thinking about moving and the trip to Australia has made me realize just how much stuff I have that I never even look at anymore…things that I only looked at once the entire time I’ve had them. Augh. I’m through buying hardcover books from now on, and paperbacks are questionable. Now that I’m not tied down to school anymore I can actually make time to read library books so there’s no need to buy them (I started buying them because I’d never finish library books before they were due.) I think from now on I’m only going to buy books that are really important or meaningful to me, or have a practical purpose, like design resources. I’d say I feel the same about DVDs but I can’t say that there are too many that really have a practical purpose. XD I guess I can say that from now on I’m only going to buy movies I really want rather than movies that are cheap or on sale.

Yesterday I did practically nothing. I listed more stuff on ebay and washed my car again. After that I decided to check to see if the park had been cleared out yet. To my delight, most everything had been cleaned up and I was able to skate! There was garbage and goose poop everywhere but for the most part it was just fine. :-D It felt fantastic to get out there again.

Nnnnghhhh, thinking about my trip to Australia is filling me with a desperate longing…it’s bad enough that I want to go there more than anything, but having the Aussies awaiting my visit with equal vigor makes it all the more intense.

I love Ross.