I’m Hearing: One Side Zero - New World Order

Yesterday was a day filled with pleasant surprises. I was sitting at work putzing around with the website I’ve been working on for a couple weeks…and suddenly I looked up and saw T.R. :-D My face lit up and I was immediately ecstatic to see him! He’s been gone for like 4 weeks…haven’t seen him since the end of school. Ben, another classmate, was also in the IRC (my workplace, not the chat program) printing off resumes, so I got to see him again too, which rocked. T.R. ended up calling Mike (a guy from my design classes who does the most spectacular StrongSad impression I’ve ever heard) and the three of us had lunch at Mancino’s and caught up. I can’t believe how much I miss those guys…I mean, for months there we were like family, hanging out every day and every night in that computer lab… The only thing I’m looking forward to in the coming semester is being able to see them again on a regular basis. :-)

Recently I’ve been talking to Stormer (an online friend) about collaborating on a novel. At first he just asked me to read a sample chapter and offer suggestions, but one thing led to another, and I agreed to help him edit (and thus, co-write) the story. :-) For the time being, I’m very excited about it because I haven’t done any serious fiction writing in a looooong loooooooooooong time. He is very determined to make it work too, so hopefully we’ll be able to accomplish something amazing by the end of summer.

The weather was really nice yesterday. The air was cool and dry for once, and it was quite comfortable. When I got home my roomie Brian was working on his new computer (which is basically identical to the one I ordered) so I helped him a little bit, then took a nap. When I woke up, I noticed my dad had messaged me, telling me a package had arrived! (I have everything shipped to my parents’ house because a lot of times the delivery requires a signature and there’s almost always someone home there.) So I ran out there and got my motherboard and processor!! :-D

I had only gotten a few of the old components out of my case when Brian and Jon showed up (they had noticed the message I left on IRC (the chat program, not my workplace) when I realized my package had come) so they stayed and helped me get the hardware all set up and the BIOS flashed. It was less scary this time, but then again, Jon did the actual flash. I was up till about 3 AM installing Windows and getting updates and whatnot. Apparently Service Pack 4 is out for Win2k now.

The new computer seems to be working quite well so far. I haven’t come across any incompatibilities so far, and it hasn’t crashed. :-D The Windows install went over without a hitch. I still have some device drivers left to install along with a couple applications like Photoshop and Illustrator, but that’s no big deal. I really cannot wait for my new case and replacement videocard to arrive.

There’s nothing I’d enjoy more right now than a nice long nap. Still got a couple hours before I can afford myself that luxury though. =_= I really want to play around with my new machine though…oh god, that new electronics smell is just heavenly. My roomie Brian gave me the static bag from his new hard drive so I could sniff it…and I did. I sure love giving my senses an overload. XD

And when Erin (roomie) came home from work, she had frozen custard for us…mmmmm!! :9

The other night someone on IRC was talking about just having seen American Beauty for the first time. It’s been a long while since I saw that myself so I watched it the other night while crocheting. It was then that I realized that a lot of the lines in that film spoke to me about the true meaning of beauty and described with surprising accuracy how I feel about things. If you haven’t seen the movie, the context of the lines could get lost on you, but the best way to solve that problem is to go see it. :-)

ANGELA: What are you doing?
RICKY: I was filming this dead bird.
ANGELA: Why?
RICKY: Because it’s beautiful.

RICKY: Have you ever known anybody who died?
JANE: No. Have you?
RICKY: No, but I did see this homeless woman who froze to death once. Just laying there on the sidewalk. She looked really sad. I got that homeless woman on video.
JANE: Why would you film that?
RICKY: Because it was amazing.
JANE: What was amazing about it?
RICKY: When you see something like that, it’s like God is looking right at you, just for a second. And if you’re careful, you can look right back.
JANE: And what do you see?
RICKY: Beauty.

RICKY: That’s the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid. Ever. [...] Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it… and my heart is going to cave in.

LESTER: I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst…and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life…

I can’t help but wonder how many people out there feel the same way…. I think the next time someone questions me about why I find something unconventional beautiful, I’m going to refer them to that film and tell them to pay very close attention toward the movie’s position on true beauty.

I’m Hearing: Stone Sour - Inhale

I tried my roomie Brian’s Radeon 9700 pro in my current motherboard just in case…and it worked nicely. MEH! So yesterday I requested an RMA for my video card from the place I ordered from and sent it back. I was planning on shipping it Federal Express since that’s how it was sent to me…but it would have cost $25US for a 3-pound package! O__O So it went out USMail instead for about half the cost. Still damned expensive. Sheesh.

All this hardware stuff has gotten me pretty angsty and on-edge. I’m not mad that things aren’t cooperating though…it’s more accurately annoyance and irritation. <shrugs> I’m a little worried that my mobo/cpu haven’t been shipped yet and the company hasn’t replied to my email… And the fact that that case won’t be coming in anytime soon…

It is soooooooo freaking humid these days. It’s not just that the temperature is very high, but that there’s condensation on everything. I sweat just by breathing. It’s like a freaking rainforest, without the pretty vegetation. I wish it would rain, just to lower the temperature for awhile…

Spent the majority of the afternoon looking at forums to see if other people were having the same problems I am with the freezing issue, then I went searching for 9700 incompatibility issues, and there were hundreds of posts on both topics. <sigh> I wonder if the card I sent back was really busted or not… :\

Oh yeah…and it’s a week until my double-deuce… :o

I’m Hearing: The Ataris - The Boys of Summer

*lifts up shirt* Oh wait, not that kind of flashing. ^_^;; No, not even close. Today I did something that I was scared shitless about doing, something that made as nervous as lighting a cardboard match (I’m terrified of fire, you see…).

I flashed my BIOS.

Yes, that’s right. I spent a lot of the afternoon reading horror stories on miscellaneous forums about how much trouble people were having with the Abit KT7A-RAID motherboard and freezing…and a couple of them claimed that flashing the BIOS fixed that problem. Well…we’ll see.

But I must describe this experience which left me shaking like a leaf. I came home this afternoon after work and rather than eating, I started right in on the mobo. Well, the first BIOS I tried was the wrong one. The second one was correct, but only made it partway through, as did the third. On the fourth try, the flash completed (whew!) and I sat there in amazement as my computer successfully booted into Windows. Because I was angsty and nervous in addition to not having eaten supper yet, I was shaking like a leaf.

But it worked.

I was getting really upset with myself. I didn’t think I could do it without Jon’s help; in fact, the first three times it failed I was whining to him on IRC about how stupid I was and how I didn’t deserve to own a computer…I’m sure he was pretty annoyed with me. I would have been, had it been someone else. Anyhow…in the end…it worked. And I still felt like a moron, but I had done something that I was terrified to do. I’m rather proud of myself for that.

So after that fiasco, Brian and I went rollerblading again, after which we got some frozen custard at Culver’s. Mmmm.

This wasn’t the high point of the day, though…

Jules finally appeared online after being away for so long. :-) Was sooooo nice to see him again…god I had missed him so terribly! Talking to him makes me feel so happy and alive…he has this effect on people. He and Rosey are on holidays now, so hopefully I’ll be able to see more of both of them. Now if I could only get his birthday present done in time…. ^^;;;;; We’ll see…

No crazy freezing or halting today…no routers stealing ip addresses. Oh well…the day isn’t over yet… :-P

Dreamweaver kept crashing on me at work today, which got really annoying by the 10th or 11th time it happened. Grr. And it was all because the document I was working on was 40 pages in Microsoft Word and DW was choking whenever I hit the "down" arrow to move through the document rather than scrolling and clicking in the appropriate location. *sigh*

Wow, my room is filthy at the moment, like really filthy. There are clothes, computer parts, and pieces of art projects everywhere. Not to mention all the network cables running all over my floor. Ack. At this point someone would really think it’s a male’s room. I guess I should clean some of this stuff up now so I can actually get to my couch so I can sleep tonight.

I’m Hearing: Beck - Lonesome Tears

That’s really the name of my video card, I shit you not. It’s an off-brand version of the ATI card by Powercolor. Hehe.

Been a very quiet weekend. Friday hachi came over and we played a bit o’ Dungeon Siege. My new video card arrived via FedEx (3 days after I ordered it, w00t!) but I haven’t installed it yet since the other parts for the new computer have not arrived yet. Hopefully sometime this week.

Saturday morning I got up and played some Dungeon Siege with Aussie Will and his level 150 hacked character…heh. Went home (parents’ house) for laundry then went rollerblading all afternoon by myself. It’s not quite as fun alone, becomes more like just exercise, but it still felt great. My legs and ankles are a little sore now though.

At suppertime rather than eating, I decided to take a nap cos I was exhausted from zooming around on skates. Somehow I managed to sleep for 2 hours and when I woke up it was after 8 PM and I was very confused. I thought it was 8 AM on Monday for some reason and I started thinking I was late for work. And I was starving. So I had some corn flakes (haha, I almost typed korn flakes >_<) and was going to settle down for a night of gaming when Dave messaged me asking if I wanted to come along with him and Jon to see Hulk. So I went.

I really wasn’t very impressed with that movie. Some of the transitions between scenes were cool, and I liked the idea they were going for with the comic-book like framing in parts, but…the story was too scattered….it was like they were trying to make the movie like 5 different genres that didn’t quite mesh together right. Their choice of shots for the comic book framing were not chosen well in my opinion, so the execution of that was weak. The character of Bruce seemed kind of hollow…the deep psychological damage that was supposed to propel his anger seemed forced. And the credits at the beginning…well, it was a good idea in theory but the execution was weak there too. I found myself checking my watch every 15 minutes or so once we were about an hour into the film…and I actually found myself bored. <shrug> Oh well. And Jennifer Connelly is soooooo skinny…sheesh.

Before the movie the guys and I went to Barnes & Noble and I bought American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I remembered awhile ago at least one half of Julesenrosey (sorry, can’t remember who!) was saying what a good book it was and I’ve noticed it in the store the last couple times I’ve been there so this time I bought it. Started reading it last night and got hooked right away. So I think I’ll be reading today.

Oh yeah, Friday I went and exchanged the busted router for a new one…ever since I plugged it in, I’ve been having no end of trouble with ip addressing, especially in regards to my shit machine that is dying. sigh The parts for my new computer cannot arrive soon enough….

I’m Hearing: Chevelle - Grab Thy Hand

Hardware is not being nice to me lately…in fact, I think my presence alone is causing premature death for a lot of my stuff… :\ So I’m sitting there on Wednesday night listening to streaming audio and chatting on the mac and suddenly….poof, no internet connection. After a lot of putzing, I discovered that port 3 on my router was busticated. So…lovely. I have to take that back tonight and see if I can get it exchanged.

Went rollerblading again last night…the wind was pretty strong coming off the lake so it was work just to keep moving. Still fun though. :-D

My roomie Erin had never seen The Silence of the Lambs even though she’d seen Hannibal and Red Dragon, so last night we watched that while I crocheted. My arm/wrist is aching but it just makes me want to do it more. I continue to have that nerve twitch in my hand that makes my middle finger twitch uncontrollably every once in awhile. I should prolly give it a rest but I love making things so much that it’s hard to just sit still.

Just realized last night that I’ve been "blahg-ing" for a year now. Sheesh, this was the fastest year of my life…so much has happened. I only remember this because hachi just got back from YAPC (a perl conference) and I can recall writing about that last year at this time. I should go back and reread what I was thinking about at this time last year, even though it seems like only a couple months ago (I’m guessing it was a lot about Moulin Rouge as that was the obsession of that summer)…It went by so fast….I wonder if the rest of my life will keep going at this speed. :o

So yesterday Ross asked me what I’ve been thinking lately. Really, it’s been mostly rollerblading and the parts for my new computer. Everything else in my life seems to be in place for the most part and thus does not cause me undue worry and concern. Last night as I sat in my room I realized that I was pretty comfortable where I was. The apartment is finally starting to look like a real home (I really should take some pictures!) and most of my stuff is organized. Plus, there are people around almost all the time so I don’t feel as lonely or cut off from the world as I did right after the semester ended. I’m rather happy at the moment, with the exception of the hassles I’ve been dealing with regarding computer hardware.

I also made a comment to Aussie Will the other day about my room that I hadn’t really considered before: if someone were to enter the room, the only indication that a female lives there would be panties and bras in the underwear drawer and washbasket. Otherwise, most of the clothes are mens’ (or unisex, I suppose), there are computers and various electronics everywhere, not to mention the posters on my wall (Giger)…lots of black and gray. I have never considered myself and overtly feminine person (in a girly way anyhow) but I’m not really overtly tomboyish either. I mean, there are lots of things that are typically girly about me, such as having long shiny hair, occasionally painting my nails, having lots of shoes, shopping, shrieking when I see spiders and other crawly-type bugs…but most other typical female stuff just turns me off. One thing I wonder sometimes is whether anyone would ever mistake me for a lesbian because of my more "masculine" tastes, but I’ve come to the conclusion that they probably wouldn’t given the fact that it’s obvious how much I love guys. :3 I am almost always surrounded by one or more guys and rarely ever in the presence of even another female. It’s not that I don’t like other girls…it’s just that I hardly ever find I have anything in common with most of them, so conversations are usually shallow, superficial, and short-lived (which, in my opinion, is a total waste of time and breath since I don’t talk very much in the first place). There are times, however, that I’ll be talking about something geek-related to my roomies and they’ll be giving me this weird look like "I have no clue what you’re saying but it must be interesting since you’re going on about it this much…" <shrug> It would be so cool to meet a guy who came into my room, saw the stuff I have and watch his eyes boggle out that there was a girl who liked that type of stuff. I want to be a pleasant surprise to someone one day rather than only a weirdo. I want to make someone say "Holy shit!" in an exclamation of wonder and appreciation rather than "what’s the matter with this chick?"

I really don’t have doubts that this will happen one day. I mean, with the number of guys out there with similar tastes to mine, by percentages alone, there’s bound to be someone who will appreciate them and not be threatened by them. :\ I think sometimes I unintentionally scare people by being me…and I really do feel bad about that at times. Yes, undoubtably I don’t want to be alone, so scaring people off is a big fear of mine. I think the only thing that scares me more than scaring people away is fire, but that’s another matter altogether. :o But in all seriousness, I have scared off so many people by being me that I tend to wonder if there’s something wrong with my behavior (even though I fully realize there isn’t.) It’s not unusual for people to not "get" me…hell, I don’t "get" me most of the time…but it takes a pretty special person to put up with me for any length of time. Close friends have told me that if they were to describe me using only one word, it would be "‘Anny’, cos anyone who’s important will know exactly what that means." And really, that’s the only person I know how to be. (For the uninitiated, I don’t normally go by "Anny" or "Annie" or anything other than Ann–though I also respond to &quot;Fox&quot;–but Jules once spelled my name that way and it sort of became this thing on IRC, and now most people there call me by that name.)

I guess in the end, I’m going to end up scaring people off because they won’t/can’t understand me or are too nervous to even try. I’m really not a scary person, in fact if you know anything about me at all, you know that I’m very easy to approach and will usually do everything I can to help people if they have a problem. Perhaps the fact that I’m rather quiet and keep mostly to myself in social situations gives people the impression that I’m angry or stuck-up or something like that, so they don’t realize that I’m just introverted around people I don’t know well. I do find it funny at times when someone introduces me as an artist and the other person will go "ohhhhhhh….." as if some kind of realization has dawned on him, as if my behaviour is "excusable" or just "makes sense" because artists aren’t supposed to act "normal." <shrug> Observing the psychology of other people is interesting if not downright entertaining.

I got a shirt a couple of weeks ago from Hot Topic (you must pronounce the name of this store the way Dr. Evil says "Hot Pocket") that says "People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage others." How often I’ve witnessed this in my own life…it’s sad really.

I’m Hearing: Stereomud - Breathing

Strange experience yesterday. I was sitting at work and suddenly my right ear got all plugged up and started ringing. It bugged me for awhile then went away so I didn’t think much of it. Later on that night, about 11 PM, I was sitting in my room and suddenly both ears plugged up and everything sounded like I was underwater. A bit of confusion ensued, and I ended up running out and getting ear drops. After cleaning them out I could hear again, but that was so odd…that’s never happened to me before. I think it was a blessing in disguise though, because when I went out to my car, I noticed that the seatbelt had gotten caught in the door and not only was the door still ajar, but the dome light was on. So if I hadn’t gone out last night to get the ear drops, I might have had a dead battery and missing stereo.

So anyhow, Brian and I went rollerblading again last night (w00t!) but only went around the track once because his ankles were sore. Was still quite fun even though my legs and hips are just aching now. May even go again tonight. :-D

I made another purchase last night that logically I prolly shouldn’t have, but I have a good way of rationalizing ridiculous ideas. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a smart move to get a new video card now rather than later since I’m going to be paying off this huge debt anyhow…what’s another $250 going to matter? Yes, I’ll be broke all summer because of this, but it’s worth it to me because not only am I going to have a kickass computer, I won’t have to get a new one for a long time. All in all it cost quite a bit less than the one I put together 2 years ago (the one that’s dying a slow painful death right now.) So yeah…Aussie Will convinced me to get a Radeon 9700…earlier in the evening I had my eye on the 9600 Pro, but ehhh…I really didn’t know what I wanted. I got an off-brand version of the card (Powercolor) because not only was it cheaper, but it came with an S-video to RCA adapter, a DV to VGA adapter, plus 7 games in the retail box. The ATI version didn’t come with any cables or extra software, plus cost like $50 more for the OEM version (minimum.)

I forgot if I mentioned that my case is backordered…but it is. So here’s a dilemma: do I take apart my current computer and build the new computer in that case temporarily and take it apart and rebuild it again once the new case comes –OR– just wait and build it once the case is here? It’s going to be irritating either way…just…which way is less irritating? :-D I’m anxious to get it going asap but dunno if I want to bother building it twice. I’m sure the guys (particularly hachi) will be anxious to get it up and running with "the sooner the better" their mantra…so we’ll see. Hachi comes home tomorrow night. The only thing that’s arrived so far is the RAM.

I’m Hearing: Radiohead - 2 Plus 2 Equals 5

Yay! I finally made up my mind about the computer I’m getting. After waaaaaay too much hemming and hawing, I finally picked one out and got a pretty good deal.

Asus A7N8X Deluxe + Athlon XP 2600+ (motherboard and processor)
Black Super-Flower SF-201T aluminum computer tower case (I can’t stop drooling over this!)
KINGSTON KVR333X64C25/512 512MB 32×64 PC2700 DDR RAM (2 sticks of 512 for a good ol’ gig of ram)

The site I bought the mobo/cpu from called me and said the OEM version of the processor had some major overheating problems so they upgraded the order to the retail version for $20 (including a 3-year warranty.) Not too shabby. Sadly the case I want is backordered for 2 weeks, which I won’t get it for at least 3…suckage. But the RAM should be here on Thursday and the mobo/cpu sometime early next week. I can’t really justify getting a new video card at this point though I’m really tempted to at least start looking…

My roommate Brian (not to be confused with my friend Brian) is also building a new computer and I somehow convinced him to get nearly the same hardware as me so we can help each other configure stuff. That’ll be nice.

Also finally got Grandia Xtreme (PS2) in the mail today from an ebay auction I won in late May. Stupid thing had gotten lost in the mail somehow because it had a May 30 postmark. Weirdness.

Brian and I went rollerblading last night in Menominee Park (the largest park in the city, near Lake Winnebago, the largest lake in Wisconsin after the Great Lakes) There’s a spectacular paved trail that runs through the park…have no idea how long it is but I’d guess about 2 or 2.5 miles at least…we went around twice and it was a great workout. The air felt soooooooo good on my skin…mmm. My weak ankle ached a bit today (I fractured it about 10 years ago and it hasn’t been the same since) but it was well-worth it. Had a spectacular time, and I’ll prolly go again tonight. I’m gonna take a nap first though cos I’m exhausted.

I’m Hearing: Stereomud - Breathing

Maaaaaaaan….trying to decide on a mobo is a hard task. The problem lies in the fact that I know next to nothing about the newer hardware that’s come out recently. Also, comparable motherboards from various manufacturers with each different chipset are around the same price with the same features so choosing one from the bunch is damned near impossible from my perspective.

So…here’s what I’ve gathered from reading up on this stuff…

In terms of AMD motherboards, the KT400 chipset seems to be a disappointment for people…Will said he had trouble running an 8x AGP video card. I liked the Abit AT7-MAX2 board for this chipset…has everything I’d want on it, and the price is reasonable. (I’m strongly considering an Athlon 2600+ if I go AMD.) But if I went the nForce2 route, I run into a problem because there are 3 boards that are nearly identical in features and price but by different manufacturers: Abit NF7-S, Asus A7N8X (or A7N8X-X more likely), and EpoX 8RDA+.

If I went the Pentium route, I’d get the Abit IC7 with Pentium 4 2.4 GHz 800fsb. This, however, is considerably more expensive than the AMD equivalent, so I’ve kind of set this option to the side in favor of saving some money. This is making me insane cos I have no idea what to do. Everyone I ask suggests something different so I just end up confused. I did a lot of reading about this stuff today and learned a bit more about what each chipset offers but it hasn’t made my decision any easier. :\ MEH!!

I put myself on a budget of not spending more than $400US total on mobo/cpu/ram. If I went AMD I could get more RAM, which would r0×0r muchly considering how obsessed I am with RAM. The intel boards seem to be able to support more PC3200 RAM than AMD (4 GB, whereas most AMD boards seem to run about 2 GB)…not like this is any big deal in reality since 2 GB is an astronomical amount of RAM in the first place and you’d be insane to put that much in a desktop machine (these days).

Ugh. What to do, what to do? This is driving me cuh-rayzee! Prolly don’t need to mention how anxious I am to get a new system due to the stupid freezing crappiness of my current system. What bothers me most is that if the stupid thing wasn’t freezing so much, I wouldn’t even consider upgrading because it’s plenty fast and has a ton of RAM. If anything, I’d only get a newer video card. But I guess I don’t really have much of a choice. I mean, yeah, I suppose I could buy the identical mobo and cpu that I have now, but if I’m going to spend money anyhow, why not get something that’s a little faster and more up-to-date?

Hmm, on an unrelated note, I had a horrible nightmare the other night in which Jules committed suicide through some unknown method because he felt he had accomplished everything he needed to in life and therefore didn’t have to live anymore. I was the one who discovered his body, which had shrunk to about 1/10 its normal size, with a hole in his head. I cannot remember ever being so distraught in a dream, except for one I had in first grade that I have still not gotten over. Not having heard from him in awhile is probably a factor in this…but he’s so busy atm. I’m quite aware that this situation has no basis in reality since he has everything to live for and I know how much he loves life, but I cannot get over the immense feelings of guilt I felt after I found him dead in the dream. It was like, if this wonderful, optimistic, caring and compassionate wonder of a human being has nothing to live for, what am I doing here? It’s already been a couple days, but I still feel sick when I think about it. I seriously wonder what message I’m supposed to pull from that. *sigh*

In other news…watched The Recruit last night…enjoyed it a lot (and not just cos Colin Farrell is as freaking hot as he happens to be.) So far I’m having a good time with my roommates. I’m starting to get to know them better, finding things out about them, which is really cool. The apartment itself can only be described as a college house. It’s put together in a haphazard fashion and things aren’t the way they should be, but that in itself gives the place character, which I enjoy.

Going to be an interesting couple days to come…I think jetfuel is coming to hang out tonight…tomorrow a friend is getting married, then Sunday hachi is leaving for his perl conference. I’m pretty tired atm since I stayed up a little too late the last two nights (c’mon, I just got my internet connection back! :-) so I think I’ll be taking a nap when I get home from work.

I’m Hearing: nothing

Been feeling a bit like zinc today as I stared at the design of this webpage and thought "It’s time for a new one…" It really is though…I’d like to do more stuff with CSS. But my other site has precedence since I have a ton of stuff left to update.

So yeah, I got my internet connection all hooked up last night…the speed is fantastic; it seems faster than the connection I had at school, so that rocketh muchly. I spent most of the night in front of my computer watching the IRC channel scroll by as I worked on a new project of mine: a garbage can. Yes, that’s right. I was going to buy a cheap one for my room and just use that…but I’ve been thinking about things a lot lately, things that have to do with all the THINGS I have. I mean, I have an incredible amount of stuff considering the amount of money I have and small space I have to work with. I’m becoming comfortable with a certain set of items which include major electronics and computers as well as a reasonably small wardrobe and accessories.

I guess the main thing is…being an artist, I have a TON of supplies that I need for various projects…things like paper and portfolios (large items) that aren’t easy to store. And of course, the many containers and tackle boxes full of paint, markers, pencils, adhesives, etc…as well as yarn…these things take up a LOT of space regardless of how well they are organized. I personally view these things as essential to my lifestyle even if they are not individually used very often…they are used often enough for their presence to be important.

So…I guess I’m kinda blathering here….what I’m getting at is this: there are a lot of items I’ve taken with me each time I’ve moved from one residence to another, and these are the things that I’ve decided are important. However, my bedroom at my parents’ house is still full of my things as well…things I like and enjoy having, but don’t use enough to take with me wherever I go. Things like a shelf full of books, a couple lava lamps, X-Files action figures, VHS tapes, etc. It’s all stuff that’s not really worth a lot of money but is just nice to have. So I’ve been wondering if I should do some cleaning out of this stuff that doesn’t seem essential to my survival…even if that means just donating some of it to Goodwill rather than trying to sell it. I’m sure someone would enjoy those things more than I am now…but then the question is: would I regret it later? I mean, some of those things could be worth money if I just hold onto them…

Anyhow, I’ve been puzzling over this for awhile. I am a rather materialistic person in the sense that I like to have things…I feel at home wherever my things are. My mother is a very minimalist person…she has very few possessions and is quite happy with that. I think it could be freeing to have less stuff but I don’t know if I’d be comfortable for long with that.

So in any case, what I really have been trying to say is that I want to start narrowing my "choice" possessions down to things that are really useful and meaningful to me. So what does all this have to do with a garbage can? Well, rather than buying a cheap and ugly plastic thing, I decided to make one of my own design that would be appealing and attractive and match all my other stuff (i.e. a black and gray color scheme)…something that I’d want to keep with me as I go through life. Does that sound loony? Well, yes. What will sound even loonier is this: the materials to create this small garbage can cost about $10US more than a regular old factory made plastic thing. Any "normal" person would find that illogical and probably stupid, but this is what makes me "Anny"…the project and process will be a fun and engaging experience for me and I’ll come out with something personal and precise, exactly as I want it (or as close to that as I can come). This sort of thing is not a waste of time, money, or effort in my opinion.

*laughs* So perhaps that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense…but that’s okay. There is a lot of unnecessary clutter in my life and brain that I just feel the desire to clean out. Hopefully this summer will afford me enough opportunity totake care of some or most of it before I graduate and move on in life.

I’m Hearing: Staind - Fill Me Up

Finally got the internet connection hooked up in my new place after a bit of hassle. My computer still does that horrible freezing thing…will prolly have to get a new motherboard and processor. Meh, that’s 400 bucks I don’t have.

I bought a special decoration for our livingroom. :-D