I’m Hearing: KoRn - Trash

Omigod, it’s finally over with. Gaaaaah. This was one of the shittiest weeks ever even though some really cool things happened. I ended up having a screwdriver while finishing my last paper last night because I was just feeling really really low. It tasted wonderful and made the loneliness a little less overwhelming…I know that sounds really sad but…let’s just say I had a pretty rotten day.

The one good thing about yesterday was that my painting professor asked me to put my Cheshire Cat painting in the Honors Exhibition in Febtober (February for all you non-SNL fans.) That means that I have additional pressure to get it finished quickly (as if I needed any more incentive already…) but at least I have a whole month to work on it without the added distraction of school, as today is the last day of the semester. I was really happy he decided to put the painting in the show for many reasons, but mostly because it demonstrated that I truly had earned his respect over the course of the semester. I have grown to actually like the guy…it did take a large amount of time for this to happen, but I’ve gotten used to his personality now and have realized that everything he’s ever said to me is just "his way of doing things." I don’t feel like he had it out for me or anything like that now…that’s just his way. *shrug*

So anyhow, I’ll be spending most of my break working and painting, so it’ll be much like it has been all semester, minus the school work. It’s going to take me awhile to get used to the idea of not having anything to do for classes…and I’m sure I’ll be spending a considerable amount of time staring into space while I adjust from being overwhelmed to having nothing to do. By the time I get used to it, it’ll be time for the new semester to start. Sigh.

Haven’t been able to be on IRC too much the last few weeks because of the painting and whatnot, so I’ve been on quite a bit since Wednesday. I’ve really really missed talking to everyone, and I’ve especially missed Jules…it’s been waaaaaay too long. But I know Rosey is taking good care of you, so that makes me happy. :-) You two are just too adorable. Hee, I can actually take my Julesenrosey painting home now that the semester is over with. XD

Oh yeah, so I guess I should post some pics of all the work I did on the Avatar painting over the weekend ^_^; I must have gotten in about 30 hours between Thursday and Monday.

Left Right Dress detail

I noticed during the class critique that it takes on a whole new angle when the canvases are separated by a couple inches…the broken nature of the picture plane adds to the confusion and hysteria of wonderland, so I think I’ll be displaying them that way in the gallery. It would be cool to have each canvas on a different angle, but I think displaying them like that would be too challenging, so I’m not even going to go there.

Hrm, stomach still too queasy to eat anything significant. I had a few peanut butter m&ms this morning but couldn’t even eat the whole package. :\ Wonder when my system will return to normal…this malnutrition is not cool. I think my parents are taking me to a pizza buffet tonight so I’m hopeful I’ll be able to stomach the food without rejecting it.

This is the first day I’ve been in to work this week and it feels odd. The old ladies were playing Xmas music in the room and it was pissing me off royally, so I cranked up KoRn. The horrid holiday music seems to have stopped for now, thank god. Ack. Well, not really in a very good mood right now so I’ll stop typing.

I’m Hearing: KoRn - Beg For Me

I can’t even describe what I’m feeling right now…this is the first moment I’ve had to sit down and write anything in here for a long time. I’ve been so unbelievably busy I can’t fathom how I’ve even made it through this far. Sigh.

Well, anyhow…like the end of every semester, I’m displaying a lot of the symptoms of being overstressed…I have the classic left eye twitch (the most annoying and prominent symptom), plus I’m hungry but my stomach is too upset to eat anything significant, and what I have eaten has mostly been from the vending machines in the art building, and of course the always present sleeplessness. It hasn’t helped one bit that I’ve developed a crush on a guy from one of my classes and I’ve been agonizing over whether or not to ask him out this whole time. Sigh. Well, I asked for a sign of some kind (which I was granted) and I worked up my nerve and did it this afternoon. He accepted, thank god, but he’s a really busy guy (working his ass off to get into grad school in addition to normal class work and his job!) so it may be awhile before we can work something out. In any case, it is both a huge boost to my ego that I wasn’t blown off but also scary as hell because I haven’t felt this way for a very very long time (ie like a giddy school girl.) I get really sappy and pathetic when I’m smitten.

I still have a ton of things to do this week, but I’ve gotten quite a few of the major things out of the way, or at least nearly out of the way. I’m sooooo tired that I’m beyond sleep and I just don’t feel like doing anything right now even though I know full well I have to. I think I’ll just take a nap now and hopefully I’ll be a little more alert to study later on. Sigh. Life is wonderful but soooooo stressful right now.

I’m Hearing: different KoRn songs in my head

Hmm, I’m not really sure what day it is or what has happened today versus yesterday or the day before. It’s all become a gigantic jumbled mess. Yesterday (err, Wednesday) I took the day off from painting so I could work on a design project that I’ve been neglecting because I’ve been painting too much. I worked on it for 13 hours yesterday until it was complete. Nothing like getting something out of the way in one shot. Whew. At about 11 PM on Wednesday night a bunch of us ordered some pizzas and had them delivered to the art building. Heh, that was something. I didn’t go to work on Wednesday because I needed the time to work on the project. It was time well spent, and I don’t even feel bad about losing the money I would have made had I been at work.

Today…err…Thursday was something else entirely. I can’t really remember what’s what anymore, but I do recall having painting class in the morning…I worked for 2.5 hours then went to my composition class where we talked about The Matrix some more, after which I went to the Union with Keith (a really cool and very cute guy from my class) and we had some subs. Then I went back to the art building and painted for another two hours, after which I went down to the gallery to look at the Senior Exhibition for Graphic Design. There were quite a few really good pieces in the show, and I was quite impressed. Then I went and painted for another hour and a half, and went back downstairs to the Music Hall to watch Keith’s orchestra concert (he was principal flute) and was wowed by the great talent shown by all the musicians. I talked to Keith awhile after the concert then went back up and painted until about 2 AM. Then I went over to the computer lab and talked to some of the people in there and had a crazy photo session (T.R. had been at the building since Wednesday morning at this point, and was in the final stages of lucidity..wow…) And finally I came home.

Now that I’m sitting here typing away, I notice a huge ache in my right arm and the right side of my neck…after all, I painted for 9.5 hours today @_@….eep! I wish I could have done more but I still need to take a shower and sleep so I can get up for work in…umm…3 hours??? Yikes.

Current Progress for painting:

From da left
From da right

Other paintings I’m working on:

Femscape
WTF?

Me, after 9.5 hours of painting

I’m Hearing: Eminem - Without Me

I’m feeling kind of low right now…not really sure why. Could be any number of factors, the first being I’m weak from hunger (I’ve only eaten a bagel and a Snickers today…currently making supper), or the fact that I’ve spent 6 hours in the painting studio today working on my beloved Avatar painting after spending 6 hours in there last night and the fumes are giving me a headache, or the fact that I went to bed at 4 AM last night =_= I don’t even know if I’m making any sense right now…

Anyhow…the art building was locked all during the break so I didn’t get to paint at all. I was getting really cranky and short-tempered because of that, but once I got to visit my baby I was okay. I was going in a really great flow yesterday and I worked until my body was aching all over and couldn’t move anymore. My back and feet were in intense pain and I was more angry at my body than anything else.

Ugh. I’m sure I’ll feel better after I’ve eaten something but tonight as I was leaving the art building, all I could think about doing was crying. I didn’t, but the point is that this is how I’m feeling at the moment. Sigh…wtf is my problem?

There were some good things that happened today though…this morning in painting class my professor came over and I finally got to explain my concept to him, which I’ve been waiting to do for a couple weeks now…he made a few comments about it, but didn’t rip on it or give me any negative remarks. Instead, he seemed a little amused as he walked away and once again told me I was doing some great work. This impressed me a little more today becuase he spent most of the class period talking to my classmates about what bothered him about their paintings. I took that as a great compliment.

Also, in my composition class, we discussed The Matrix today, and one of the first things that came up was the multitudes of other literature that is present in the film including…dum dum dum….Alice in Wonderland. So I got a chance to contribute a good chunk of my knowledge of its symbolism and I had a decent time there. I took one of the guys from the class to see my painting afterwards and he seemed fairly impressed (if nothing else, by the sheer size of the painting.)

Later on when I was alone in the room, TR jumped out from behind the painting and scared the shit out of me. It took many moments for my heart to start beating normally again. I hate when people do that to me when I’m deep in my own little world…it’s too much of a shock to my system to be jolted back down to earth like that, and I’m more susceptible than most in that situation beacuse I’m really not paying attention to anything but what I’m doing.
Siiiigh.

Oh well, I guess I’ll have some Mac n’ cheez now and hopefully I won’t end up spending my entire evening annoyed and upset about nothing. I have too much stuff to do.