*Sigh*…some people have asked me if I’m okay…yeah, I know there’s been a lot of negativity in my entries as of late…and all I can say is that, yeah, I’ll be fine…I just need a place to vent my frustration sometimes, y’know?

I’m feeling a little better both today and yesterday, although the weather has been quite dreary. I always feel better when the weekend comes around because not only am I less busy than during the week, but I get to spend time with friends and I can stay up late and sleep in late the next morning. I swear, my body always wants to stay awake till the wee hours of the morning but that’s not too practical when I have to be awake and out the door prior to 8 AM. Ah well…that’s just the way it is.

I downloaded some songs by Avril Lavigne today and have been listening to them while I’ve been working. I kind of enjoy her attitude, and despite being a little pop-ish, I think she has an amazing voice. As soon as I get a little more money, I’ll be getting her CD, as well as the new Foo Fighters CD, which I really want.

Lately I’ve been questioning my need for material possessions. It’s something that’s a big deal for me because I like having things. What brought on this doubt was my current financial situation of being dirt poor. I signed the lease for my apartment for next year about 2 weeks ago, and at that point I realized that I was going to have to wise up fast, as I barely had enough to cover the first month’s rent, let alone the security deposit. Of course, I just paid for this semester’s tuition and housing, and I was hurting quite a bit from that, so it seemed a lot worse than it might otherwise have. Regardless…I knew I had to start exercising a little more self control over my spending habits.

This also motivated me to look through my things and decide what I needed and/or wanted to keep. I have a lot of stuff that basically just sits there, which I could sell off on ebay. Pretty much ever since I started moving back and forth between home and school, I’ve been thinking a lot about consolidating all my things into smaller, tighter spaces and re-evaluating exactly what it is I value these days. There are things such as my Super Nintendo, which is still in great condition with working games…but I never play it. It’s sitting in my closet collecting dust. I know there’s someone out there who would enjoy playing that and would get far more use out of it than it’s currently getting. I just need to do a clean sweep of my closet and get rid of all the stuff that is cool but useless to me now. Maybe I’ll sell off some of my books that I read but didn’t totally love. I have many hardcover books that could fetch a few bucks each. Also, like, my whole VHS tape collection, which I never touch. *Sigh*

Wow, just thinking of purging all this unnecessary baggage makes me feel very uplifted…almost like there’s something about all that stuff that’s weighing me down or holding me back. I actually am very excited now to go home and go through it all. Typically, I just give things away to Goodwill, so I may end up doing that rather than trying to sell it off. Sure, it would be great to get some extra money, but at the moment, that’s kind of secondary to just getting rid of some of that stuff. If I can just get rid of a whole crapload of stuff at once, maybe it’ll end up becoming a spiritual cleansing of sorts.

Suddenly I’m feeling pretty good about things. I’ll be taking a trip home this weekend I think. :-)