Wow, it’s Wednesday already. The week is just flying by. That’s a good thing though.

This morning I saw a homeless guy on my way to work who was just kind of rambling through the intersection, appearing to be unaware of anything around him. I thought about him…I see him every once in awhile outside my workplace, usually when the weather starts getting cold. That poor guy. Then I realized something about myself. I have so much that is wonderful in my life…and I feel like I’ve been acting like a “sorry little ingrate” (to quote Zed in “Men in Black”). I am really really lucky in a lot of ways…and sure, I have problems, but who doesn’t? What makes my problems so special that they’re any worse than other people’s? Actually, I just like to complain, which makes them seem bad but they really aren’t. I can tell that annoys people so I’m going to try to not whine about things that aren’t that big of a deal. I hate being annoying to others, and sometimes it can’t be helped, but my whining seems to piss people off, even people I consider friends. So I am gonna shut up about that.

One thing that I worry about a lot is driving people away. I’m used to being thought of as strange, but I don’t like to alienate myself from others, so to speak. I do like my individuality, but more than that I like being able to relate to people. That isn’t always the easiest thing for me, but I try. It’s hard to find others who share anything in common with me, and when I do find someone with similar interests or viewpoints, I’m always afraid I’m going to do or say something that scares them off or rubs them the wrong way, so most of the time I’m pretty cautious about my words and actions. I guess that’s one of the biggest reasons I’m so reserved in public, because I don’t want to be seen as a “freak.” In a lot of my experiences, when I’ve been open and honest with who I am, I’ve been ridiculed. It’s not encouraging.

I know other people don’t understand me, and I’m mostly okay with that. After all, according to the Meyers Briggs personality sorter thingie, I have a personality type that’s shared by only about 2% of the population. Well, okay then. That means that 98% of all people don’t think the way I do…how could they possibly understand? I’d be delusional to assume more than a few people on this earth actually “get” who I am. So far in my life, I have only come across one other person who is similar enough to me that I can easily say he truly “gets” me. And he knows who he is. :-)